News Editing Exercise

News Editing Exercise

I rewrote sections of a news story and a broadcast script. My execution was—shall we say—poor. Many of the mistakes I made were similar to the writing problems I noticed in your introductions to your neighbors. Please help me fix the following stories by: (1) identifying portions (i.e. sentences, phrases, wording) of the text that need to be edited with a highlight and; (2) providing an edited version of the stories with your revisions in blue text.  Save your work on the Z drive in your file so we can review later.

Mechanical issue cancels Alaska cruise, 4 others

Celebrity Cruises canceled an Alaska cruise midway through the voyage because of the ship's mechanical problems, and also canceled four more cruises aboard the Millennium.

Celebrity Cruises canceled Alaska cruise due to mechanical problems.  

By BECKY BOHRER

JUNEAU, Alaska —

Causing alarm to many, Celebrity Cruises has canceled the remainder of a seven-night cruise and outdoor excursion trip to various portions of Alaska, plus four additional cruises, after mechanical issues forced a ship carrying more than 3,100 passengers and crew members to return to port in Ketchikan.

Celebrity Cruises has canceled the remainder of a seven- night cruise to Alaska after mechanical issues forced the 3,100 passengers and crew members to return to Ketchikan.

Passengers were told by the cruise line in a statement on Tuesday that passengers on the Millennium ship would receive refunds. Their cruise fares and chartered air travel home also will be covered. It also said it was offering future cruise certificates for 100 percent of the fare paid for this cruise.

Passengers on the Millennium ship would receive refunds. It also said it was offering future cruise certifies that the fare paid for this cruise.

The mechanical issues also forced the cancellation of cruises on the Millennium that were scheduled for Aug. 23, Aug. 30, Sept. 6 and Sept. 13, the company announced late Tuesday.

Cynthia Martinez, a spokeswoman for Royal Caribbean Cruises Ltd., which owns Celebrity Cruises, said by email that about 2,200 guests and nearly 960 crew members were onboard the current cruise. She said that Royal Caribbean Cruises and Celebrity Cruises, or the mechanics that work for them "will do whatever is necessary to get our guests back home, at no additional cost to them."

Martinez said guests booked on the other canceled sailings will receive a full refund, as well as a certificate for a future cruise.

Don’t need to repeat.

One of the two propulsion motors for the Millennium is what led to the 965-foot ship being unable to sail. The cruise line decided to cancel the sailing "in an abundance of caution," though Martinez said it could still sail at a reduced speed with one motor.

The ship had to cancel the sailing due to only one working motor.  

“The ship had an issue with the same motor on a prior outing”, she said.

Celebrity Cruises said the seven-night sailing began Friday, with the ship leaving Vancouver, B.C. Ketchikan, in southeast Alaska, was one of several ports of call scheduled before the cruise was to end in Seward.

Coast Guard spokesman Kip Wadlow said the latest problem with one of the two propulsion motors is what prompted the ship to return to Ketchikan after it had left the port on Sunday. but that they could have recognized the problem earlier and not had to return on Sunday. He said the Coast Guard on Monday ordered the vessel to stay put until the issue was fixed.

Wadlow said the agency was working with Celebrity Cruises, “to put the safety of the crew and the passengers first, ensure that they are protected and ensure that the vessel is capable of safely getting under way."

The cruise company said engineers, consultants from the motor's manufacturer and the cruise line's marine operations team had been working "around the clock" to resolve the issue.

The president and CEO of the Ketchikan Visitors Bureau, Patti Mackey, said some restaurants and bars in town got a boost Sunday night when the cruise ship returned. Cruise ships typically aren't in town that late, and "that was a pleasant up-shot for them, anyway," she said.

Some restaurants and bars in town got a boost Sunday night when the cruise ship returned said the president and CEO of the Ketchikan Visitors Bureau, Patty Mackey.

She said the tour company that manages transfers for the cruise line also was busy contacting local tour companies to ask about extra space they might have for the held-over passengers. Some passengers just walked around town and shopped, she said.

"It's not the ideal situation for those folks who really wanted to see all the stops on the itinerary, but we're trying to do our best to make them feel comfortable and welcome," Mackey said of the community.

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BROADCAST TRANSCRIPT

Item Number: WE-004WE
Slug: AZ:GIRL SAYS TEACHER TAPED HER TO CHAIR
Format: DONUT
TRT: 1:32
Feed Time:
Source: KGUN
Embargo: TUCSON, AZ;
Reporter: Kevin Keen

--SUPERS--

Tuesday

Tucson, AZ

:18-:21

Mia Kramer

Student

:44-:58

Maria Vasquez

Mother

--LEAD IN--

AN ARIZONA MOTHER IS OUTRAGED AND UNHAPPY TODAY OVER WHAT HER DAUGHTER SAYS HAPPENED TO HER LAST WEEK AT A TUCSON SCHOOL IN THE CAFETERIA.

An Arizona mother is outraged when notified that daughter had been taped to a chair last week at a Tucson School.

A TEACHER SHE CLAIMS TAPED THE SECOND GRADER TO A CHAIR TO KEEP HER FROM GETTING UP.

A teacher she claims taped the second grader to a chair.

NOW, KEVIN KEEN REPORTS, THE POLICE ARE INVOLVED AND THE TEACHER HAS BEEN PULLED FROM THE CLASS.

--REPORTER PKG-AS FOLLOWS--

MIA KRAMER WAS EXCITED TO BEGIN SECOND GRADE IN HER NEWLY RENOVATED TUSCON SCHOOL.

"I like about my school that my friends get to be nice to me."

BUT MIA SAYS LAST WEEK AT HOLLINGER ELEMENTARY SHE WALKED TO THE PENCIL SHARPENER TOO MANY TIMES.

Do not need.

SHE SAYS HER TEACHER THEN TOLD HER TO SIT DOWN.

"It felt like something's happening to me but it's wrong."

MIA SHOWS US WHAT SHE TOLD POLICE HAPPENED NEXT.

Mia told police what happened next.

SHE SAYS THE TEACHER...TAPED HER TO A CHAIR.

"The first one had to be like that...and then attach it to the chair and then the other one I had to put my arms up."

TWO STRIPS OF WHAT COULD HAVE BEEN PACKING TAPE, HER FAMILY SAYS.

HER MOTHER IS OUTRAGED AND EMOTIONAL.

"She likes to be happy and they tied her to a chair, regardless of if it was a little tape, she got tied to a chair where she couldn't move and that's not right, that's not right."

TUSD SENT US A STATEMENT IN RESPONSE TO THE ALLEGATIONS BY THE LITTLE GIRL: "OBVIOUSLY SUCH BEHAVIOR IS NOT APPROPRIATE OR ACCEPTABLE AND IS NOT PART OF ANY DISTRICT PROTOCOL. THE COMPLAINT HAS BEEN REFERRED TO DISTRICT LEADERSHIP AND IF IT'S DETERMINED THAT THIS INCIDENT TOOK PLACE, APPROPRIATE DISCIPLINARY ACTION WILL BE TAKEN. "

THE DISTRICT SAYS THE TEACHER IS NO LONGER IN THE CLASSROOM, NOT TEACHING...BUT NOT FIRED.

MIA'S FAMILY WANTS ACKNOWLEDGMENT NOW.

"I want them to understand that they hurt her by tying her to a chair and that-that was wrong."

"She should respect kids, not hurt them."

--TAG--

K-G-U-N T-V REPORTS MIA HAS NOT RETURNED TO SCHOOL SINCE THE INCIDENT.